I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
