Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
