Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
