K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
