After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
