saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
my poor anus
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
