Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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