The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
