apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Randomize
