Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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