My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
