did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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