Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize