what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
