and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
