omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
