I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
