So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize