i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
