Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
