I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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