and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
