you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
