I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
