I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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