so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
