I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
