He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
