I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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