I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
