i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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