Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize