Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
