Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
