Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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