I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
