what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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