You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
