idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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