Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
