a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
