Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
