this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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