when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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