I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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