he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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