she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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