sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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