Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
