Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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