Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Green mimosas i think yes
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
