Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
