i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
