why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
