their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
