We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
