so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize