life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
