Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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