i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
When are your genitals available?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
