Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
