: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
