i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
