have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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