your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
