So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
