Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's the barista slut.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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