Pants 0. Shit 1.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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