Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
